1- I notice that you have chosen the Motto ,
“FIND SOLUTIONS FOR YOUR PROBLEMS”.
Why did you select this motto?
When a person contacts me, they are usually
very discouraged and doubt that things can change. So the critical
issue is to overcome HOPELESSNESS. They view their situation as a
problem. I would agree. But one to be solved! This also reflects
that I label myself as a COGNITIVE - BEHAVIORAL counselor. We
endeavor to discover the beliefs and assumptions that are present
and to identify those that are false. If I am believing something
that is not true, NOT REALITY, obviously I am going to
What are some
of the typical concerns that bring someone to seek counseling?
3- What happens in
the first session. How do you begin?
We discuss the presenting problem and make sure
we both have an agreement on the client's goals and expectations of
When they leave the first session, they are given
a note book with some materials to prepare for the next session.
Included is a CD by Dr Crabb called
4- How long does
counseling take? Do you offer any
This question is again often an expression of
their concern in terms of, "Is there hope for change?" and
the desire for the pain to be over soon. Actually, much depends on
the clients willingness to stay with the process and not retreat
into denial and other defensive behavior.
Here is the best guarantee I know, The Bible
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those
who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For
those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness
of his Son" Rom 8:28-29,
and Phil 1:6.
confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it
on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
5- How do you
counsel? What are some of the key concepts that you cover in
I tell the client that I not only do I counsel, but I explain to
them the reasons that we work on the things that we do, so that
they, so to speak, will become their own counselor. We
explore their expectations and beliefs in terms of the ideas they
are holding to be true. A root issue is to discover what false
beliefs are being held, and to face denial, deceit, fear and
self-centeredness. It is important to not be distracted by symptoms,
but instead identify the root issues.
The principles that God reveals in the scripture, guide us in our
endeavor to reflect His character and my relationship hopefully
models encouragement, hope, comfort and truths for living in love
6-What would you say is the
difference between a “symptom” and the root cause?
Here we need to think about who we are.
HAVING BEEN CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD,
Our likeness is revealed by
1- RATIONAL = Thinking and forming evaluations of our experience into
2- EMOTIONAL = Feelings expressed as a result of our
3- VOLITIONAL = Choices (will) made in the service of our
In summary, we are personal, seeking relationships, Therefore,
our need as persons is to find SECURITY AND SIGNIFICANCE;
that is, to be loved, accepted and belong.
Can we ever attain this deep need in this life?? No, not until
BUT, I MUST have these NEEDS for security and
WRONG METHOD: D
E M A N D S
A life-style is formed as strategies, "defenses", are
chosen to try to manipulate, demand, that others love me and that I
will be protected from hurt.
GOD'S way is the way of the cross; †
to TRUST that only in Christ can we find an absolute
security and significance,
As we are Dependent
upon and resting in God's sovereign care.
Our goal must be DEPENDENCE
- not independence, which is pride!
( Romans 8:15-39; Galatians 4:4-7; II Corinthians 12:7-10 )
Hebrews 13:5-6 because
God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you, So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"
7- What is the common key
issue in, conflicts in marriage, -and you can fill in, any conflict that
The need for security and belongingness/
significance is not being met. The person then forces to try to
manipulate, demand that these needs be met. If they don't
succeed, they can become bitter and then violent in their
demands, to the point of murder.
How would you,
then, counsel a person , say, with depression?
Identify their expectations and expose their false beliefs.
Depression is a symptom of hopelessness. What needs are not being
met and how is the client attempting to have them met. So often a
client will put themselves in a corner and not realize that. They
repeat self defeating behavior and expect a different result. As
we together re-evaluate heart issues, we can learn how to have
realistic goals and problem solving skills.
RESTORING HOPE: "KEEP THE
We need to,
Learn God's Promises, God's Purpose, & Share
1. Learn God's Promises
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach
us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures
we might have hope".
2. Learn God's Purpose For the Now,
& The Future
a. The Now:
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have
peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have
gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we
rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also
rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope
does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our
hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us".
b. The Future:
"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at
all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we
do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who
love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those
God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of
3. Share God's Promises Which include Specific Personal
II Corinthians 1:3-11
"Praise be to the
God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and
the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that
we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have
received from God.
5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so
also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6 If we are distressed, it
is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your
comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same
sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know
that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our
8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we
suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far
beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.
in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that
we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He
has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On
him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you
help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for
the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many".
b. Specific Personal Counsel: "One Another"
Hebrews 10:19-25 - "And let us
consider how we may spur one
toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as
some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one
another--and all the more
as you see the Day approaching".
9- What changes
would you like to see?
Ultimately, to TRUST that only in Christ can we find an
security and significance,
As we are Dependent
upon and resting in God's sovereign care. This means we have given up
our self-protective, defensive way of relating.
How do people
I like the way DR.
Crabb has described how we
change, - He emphasizes that we need to repent of our SELF PROTECTIVE
strategies, and seek to develop relationships characterized by
genuineness and integrity.
We can speak of this as the MEANS OF GRACE -
that is, how God causes us to change. Some of these means include the
Bible, prayer, worship, and fellowship; The Bible Mt 4:4;
urge you, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living
sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of
worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but
be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to
test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect
By fellowship I mean the concept of KOINONIA,
Peter 4:10-12. Each
one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others
administering God's grace in
its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it
as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves,
he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things
God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the
power for ever and ever.
And I believe there is a great overlap of
counseling and sanctification. Counseling may be considered as a very
intense focus on personal discipleship and mentoring, and in this
sense is a part of the sanctification process.
I notice you use
the terms, CLIENT, and COUNSEL, instead of PATIENT, and THERAPY? Why
The terms "patient" and
"Therapy" reflect a medical model and come from the ideas
that have their origin in Freud's concepts. I believe client is
a better description of the actual relationship that is present. The
client is an agent. The counselor is an agent. And the relationship
that exists must be governed by truth and integrity. "Speak the
truth in love" is the measure established by the Bible.